SHOW ME THE MONEY!!! Why Weed Revenues Pale in Comparisson to Drug War Revenues

You weedheads are adorable with your darling little tax payments and your modest revenue streams. But don’t get it twisted. Your money is nothing compared to the taxes and economic “benefits” created by industries getting rich off prohibition and the drug war.

As we enter a new era of Federal enforcement with the changing of the guards from an Obama administration that chose to limit their enforcement into the cannabis industry with some vague and legally meaningless “memos” instructing enforcement agencies to chill out if the States say it is cool onward to a Trump administration where all bets are off and conservatives are chomping at the bit to return us all to the golden era of the Reagan “revolution” and Nixon’s “war on drugs.” It is anyone’s guess what will happen… not just with cannabis but literally everything. Good or bad, one thing is certain. Things are going to be very different under a Trump regime. From the way his cabinet is lining up and his thin-skinned responses to every petty argument, it is certain to be a wild ride.

I wish I were more optimistic; but I am not. Frankly, I am a little scared for us all.

The appointment of Jeff Sessions is troubling to say the least, as he has been a vocal critic of Obama’s stand-offish policy on cannabis laws, stating in his confirmation hearing this week, “The U.S. Congress made the possession of marijuana in every state—and the distribution—an illegal act,” Sessions said last week. “If that’s something that’s not desired any longer, Congress should pass a law to change the rule.” The glass half full person might say, “Look. Sessions is calling for legalization.” That is cute. What I hear pretty loud and clear is, “The law is the law and I will enforce it unless someone decides to change it.” Remember… Trump declared himself “the law and order candidate” on the campaign trail and this is the head of the law and order branch of the United States government.

To believe Trump, and even more so Sessions, is going to allow for Obama’s laissez-faire approach to cannabis to continue is naive. It was just last April, less than a year ago, when Jefferson Beauregard “Jeff” Sessions III stood on the floor of the United States Senate and declared, “Good people don’t smoke marijuana,” and that it was a “very real danger” that is “not the kind of thing that ought to be legalized.” He calls the effort to reform cannabis laws a “tragic mistake.” He has been incredibly critical of both of Obama’s Attorney Generals (Holder and Lynch) for not enforcing federal law where marijuana is concerned. In his tirade on the Senate floor last year he also stated, “You can’t have the President of the United States of America talking about marijuana like it is no different than taking a drink… It is different….It is already causing a disturbance in the states that have made it legal.”

Does that sound like a guy who is going to just look the other way? The AG has no obligation to uphold the random thoughts and ideas of the President. He does not serve at the President’s pleasure. The entire point of the Attorney General is to have an independent legal force to uphold the laws of the United States; and as Sessions clearly stated in his confirmation hearing he intends to do just that. He is a “by the book” motherfucker if there ever was one. So, forgive me if I lack optimism, but I have seen this shitshow before.

The argument I keep hearing from folks is, “NO WAY, MICKEY. THERE IS TOO MUCH MONEY BEING MADE FOR THEM TO SHUT US DOWN NOW.” Have you bumped your fucking head?

Do not fool yourself. It is incredibly profitable to arrest non-violent weedheads and weed farmers and take all their stuff. Drug task force budgets alone are more lucrative than legal weed sales. Do you have any idea how much revenue is created by funding drug enforcement agencies? From buying the latest and greatest tactical gear, surveillance equipment, and weaponry to hiring and paying tens of thousands of agents to enforce these laws, there is a hell of a lot of money just in the investigation and arrest aspects of the war on cannabis. The nation’s failed drug policies have resulted in the militarization we see of our police forces and society has spent over a trillion dollars working to enforce drug laws with zero results. Addiction rates have remained constant and access to drugs is greater now than ever before. It is a racket, and one that ensured a pretty penny for law enforcement agencies to rid our communities of these evil drugs. Yawn. Are we still falling for that tired story? Yup. The drug war rages on at the expense of all of us. But I am sure the taxes from your eighth of Jack Herer will be the straw that broke the financial back of the drug war (rolls eyes).

You see… marijuana has always been an easy target. It is large in comparison to other drugs, and is easy to detect because of its distinct looks, coloring, and of course, smell. Do you know how much money cops are losing just by not being able to search your car and house because it smells like weed? That was free money for them. They search for the weed they say they smell and eventually come up with something illegal that allows them to take all of your stuff. Oh… Did I not mention “asset forfeiture” yet? Yeah. That is a lot of money that drug cops take from people every year. If a cop can prove you used your car or your property to grow, sell, or “conspire” to sell weed or any other drug then they can essentially confiscate that property. It is fucked up really. Sometimes they do not even have to convict you of a crime to strong arm you out of your property. Dafuck?

Then there is the money made after the arrests… The court systems. The lawyers. The jails and then the prisons. The treatment centers. Etc. Etc. Etc. The list goes on of ways that arresting people for weed is a money-making machine. Drug enforcement, and the subsequent fallout from arresting hundreds and thousands of people every year for weed, are no doubt a big business. Fortunes have been made from arresting people for weed, jailing them, and then “treating” them for their weed addiction problems. LOL.

There is a reason that every effort to legalize cannabis at the ballot box has been opposed by most all law enforcement communities. That is real money out of their pockets and budgets. Less drug arrests means less of a need for drug cops, and less need for prisons to house drug criminals. The prison industrial complex is a giant machine that locks up 25% of the world’s prison population… even though we only have 5% of the actual world population. Let that soak in. We love locking people up in America, and the drug war has been good for the economy. Sure… We are trillions in debt and no better off, but fuck it…. Let’s double down.

There is also the X factor…. We allow private companies access to cheap labor of prison inmates. Does it sound a lot like slavery? That is because it essentially is, and prisoners manufacture anything from lingerie to weapons of war. Fun, right? And you were mad about undocumented immigrants taking your job. Nope. Your job was outsourced to a steady stream of cheap prison labor through companies like Unicor. If it sounds crazy that is because it is. There are more black people in prison now than were ever enslaved during slavery. It is no coincidence that prisons are filled with poor and disenfranchised mostly minorities. The drug war and mass incarceration has been good for business. I am not even mentioning hemp alternatives, though many agree that hemp is also a primary driver of prohibition from those invested in timber, textiles fuel and more. That is all big bucks we are talking.

Of course, we can’t forget about the cost of drug detection and monitoring. Drug testing is a big business. Just the industry of selling weird products to mask and hide drug use is a big business. Because weed stays in your system so much longer than other drugs, it has also been an easy target for the drug treatment industry. Just think of every high school kid whose parents have them tested because they come home smelling like weed one day, or the cost of drug testing that employers pay for in the hiring process alone. That is a lot of cheddar. But I am sure the taxes from your edible line are going to save the economy, bro. Funny stuff.

Believe that the taxes realized from legal weed sales would come at a perceived cost of other tax paying industries, as well… particularly big pharma and the booze industry. Theoretically, if people are spending money on weed they might in turn be spending less money on booze. If people can find relief from cannabis without having to see a doctor and get a prescription, then that could severely dent the budget of the pharmaceutical industry. So it is not like the taxes that will come from the weed game just appear out of nowhere. There will be certain trade-offs no doubt. Hell… Even drug cartels are pissed because their market is shrinking rapidly.

The ultimate reality is also that if cannabis were legalized globally today there would be an initial shortage, but over time supply would catch up with demand and prices would continue to fall… meaning your tax revenue would also shrink thus. There will come a day when a good ounce of weed is about $50 and even if they slap a 50% tax on that baby it will still only be $75. We have already begun to see process drop in states where legalization has taken hold. It will likely shape up to look like the wine industry in a lot of ways when it is all said and done… Some Two-Buck-Chuck or some Opus One, and a bunch of specialty items at all price points in between. But there will be some good weed for good prices for sure. The tax revenue projections off of $50 eighths and $300 ounces will be irrelevant one day, so there is that.

So you keep telling yourself that the new regime of ultra-right-wing conservatives who take money by the barrel from these industries have no interest in coming after you because you pay taxes. I wish I could live in that fairytale land of optimism and hope. The cynic in me will not let me be fooled by some meaningless rhetoric about states’ rights and whatnot. I don’t believe you.

It is true that none of us know what is going to happen in coming months and years as Trump and his band of scary pranksters take control of our Nation’s government and start calling the shots on who does and does not go to jail for what. I guess we can hope that they are so busy rounding up Mexicans and Muslims that they forget about us weedheads; but I am not going to hold my breath.

I am committed to staying vigilant and ready for the fight. Regardless of what happens I can assure you one thing… I am not going nowhere. But before you decide to report your weed sales to a government agency of any sort just ask yourself if you may or may not be incriminating yourself and then call me when you need some compliance documentation done to help you sleep better at night.

It will not be the money that keeps weed illegal and drug warriors fat for years to come. Our only real hope is social change. That we have squeezed enough toothpaste out of the tube that it will never go back in. Some may have a hard time imagining their communities going back to a time before medical and/or adult use cannabis were legal, but it can happen. And it can happen pretty quick. Remember that hundreds of cannabis businesses were abruptly closed in California in 2011 and 2012 with nothing more than a form letter and a stamp threatening enforcement. If the new AG decides that the Cole Memo is no longer USDOJ policy, then it would be quite easy for the Feds to ramp up the war on weed again. Can they arrest us all? Probably not, but they can certainly arrest a bunch of us if they want to. That is just a fact. Marinate on that for a while and then let me know if you still want to be so flippant about the coming changes in policy not just for weed, but for everything. Gonna be an interesting few years.

May the Big Magnet in the Sky help us all. Selah.

 

#FUCKMICKEY AWARDS 2017- EVERYBODY GETS A TROPHY

The #FUCKMICKEY Awards are a place where I give awards to: THE GOOD, THE BAD, and THE UGLY of the cannabis movement and industry. Some call it mean-spirited; and others appreciate the willingness to keep it real and have the tough conversations about the mosaic of weirdos, freaks, and chumps that are a part of the community. It has become a fun tradition that, at the very least, gives people something to talk about heading into the New Year. Whether you love or hate the #FUCKMICKEY Awards there is no denying the real and meaningful impact they have had.

The whole awards show started out as a big joke to poke fun at the dozens of unnecessary and stupid awards shows that some weak-ass organizations put on to pat each other on the back; and award the undeserving for menial efforts that are more of a circle jerk than any sort of real award. But I do not have to tell you that. There are nearly 800 yearly cannabis cups and competitions that have watered down the meaning of awards to the point that by now everyone has gotten a stupid trophy for one thing or another… but I digress. In addition to the “I won a cup at blah-blah-blah event” deal, there are also another couple hundred “awards shows” where some nameless committee of losers give out the old reach-around awards to their buddies to give “recognition” to some asshole for doing their fucking job, and usually not even doing it well. Super. Yawn.

So, three years ago, I decided that I would do my own awards based on 3 categories- THE GOOD, THE BAD, and THE UGLY. The individual awards were bizarre by design to illicit humor and to make people think. There was everything from “Best Stupid Selfies” to “Neediest Attention Whore” to “Person Who Should Most Likely Just Die.” You can see how these hard-hitting realities caused a lot of drama and made hundreds of people butthurt. It is funny because it is literally just me sitting at a computer posting meme-based awards regarding my opinion of the many public figures and hucksters that create the cannabis landscape. I spent 137 days in Facebook jail this year, and 97 of those were directly related to last year’s #FUCKMICKEY Awards. Good times.

It is also a hell of a lot of work to pull off. Developing the categories and researching who is the worthiest for each one is exhausting. Then having to write lengthy descriptions for each of the awards and posting them for everyone to read and share takes a lot of time and energy. Add to that the fallout from the barrage of emails, messages, texts, and comments I receive, and it gets to be a lot to manage…. Remember. it is just me. A giant asshole sitting here throwing bombs and watching the chickenheads scatter. It has become quite the undertaking.

So, after the long and trying year that was 2016 it became more difficult to single people out for their fucking problems. We all failed this year when you look at it. There is not a person in this movement and industry that deserves a real pat on the back, or award for anything.

Sure. I could put a bunch of assholes on blast for their crimes against humanity and greed, but why? What purpose would that serve when the reality is that we are all guilty. Guilty of not doing enough. Guilty of being selfish. Guilty of not putting forth the effort needed to change the world. Who the fuck am I to tell this person that they sucked more than me this year? I just do not see the point anymore. I too failed as a human, an activist, and as a protector of cannabis. 

It is funny to listen to people bitch and moan because I did not drop the normal #FUCKMICKEY Awards this year. You blood-thirsty bitches should be ashamed of yourselves. Maybe if you grew a sack of nuts and spoke up every once in a while, there wouldn’t even be a need for me to have these stupid awards. But most of you are cowards. Most of the people who expect me to do the work for them wouldn’t know courage if it bit them in the ass. Fuck you guys the most. 

But moving on… I am not going to waste my time and energy this year calling out all of these individual fuckheads for their atrocities. I will leave that chore to those who really give a fuck. If 2016 taught me one thing it is that I give a fuck too much. That I let my emotions get the better of me, and I waste valuable time and energy focusing on what is wrong with the world instead of what is right.

I have decided to try and change that. I am trying to figure out how to move forward and to quit looking back so much. No one said that would be an easy task, but it is necessary if I am to grow as a person.

So, the big winner of the #FUCKMICKEY Awards this year is YOU. That is right. Each and every one of you have sucked this year. There is nothing for you to be proud of. We are watching our society fall off a cliff, and instead of trying to save it everyone just wants to film it to put on their Instagram feed. It is pathetic and I am ashamed to call myself a part of humanity. We all need to do a lot of soul searching and figure out what kind of world we want to live in; and then we need to figure out what we are going to do to get there.

I am not willing to accept that what will be will be. We are all better than this and none of us deserve any fucking award. If you can’t see the writing on the wall then you must be blind. This year was one tiny  step forward and three gigantic steps back for all of us.

So excuse me if I did not take the time and energy to entertain you with my witty banter and absolutely fabulous awards shit-show this year. I just didn’t see the point of it all when it is not any one person or group of people who are good, bad, or ugly… It is all of us. You, me, and the whole fucking world. We are all fucked up people with a lot of work to do. There is no getting around that.

My reality is that this year EVERYONE GETS A TROPHY. Congratulations. You earned it, you miserable fuck. Maybe next year will be different, but as for this year I do not have a lot to celebrate and I am disappointed with everyone. Take it for what it is, and shove it up your ass if you think I owe you something more. I don’t.

You are the fucking problem; and until you figure that out we are all fucking doomed. Selah.